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Why my #1 2019 Goal is Eliminating “Try” From My Vocabulary

Jan 24, 2019

Photo taken on my Portugal trip–see outfit details here

Above photo taken on my Portugal trip–see outfit details here and air-drying hair tutorial here!

Hi guys. 

Sooo, when I sat down to write a post today, I didn’t really know what to write. Funny how I write for a living yet never actually write about the fact that sometimes, I really don’t feel like writing.  ? Yes, even bloggers get writers block! 

Anyway, I was in a very wishy-washy mood, and I wasn’t getting anywhere–so I did what I haven’t done in a long time (wow, I really miss this!)–I just started typing out my honest feelings of where I’m at right now–with no idea where it would go, but curious as to where it would lead.

What started out as a “whoah is me, why am I struggling with this?” kind of brain dump, turned into one of the most effective exercises I’ve done in a really long time. I hope working through this together helps you as much as it helped me! If you’ve been feeling “eh” about the new year–I think you’ll love this post. 

SO–here’s where things are at. (At least…when I sat down to write this post yesterday): 

I feel like I’ve been a little all over the place for one reason or another. For a long time. 

Taking time off over the holidays to spend with family and a week long vacation in Mexico–while it was SO necessary, put me *what feels like* two weeks behind in the “New Year Refresh” thing. I feel that perhaps I wasted what would have usually been that super productive window of time between the end of December and beginning of January to plan out my year. That I missed the boat on that one magical week to figure out what I wanted to do with my life in 2019, and get really clear on those goals. 

Here’s the thing though. 

That’s a load of crap. I know it is. I KNOW it’s an excuse. There is no good or bad time to sit down and get really clear on what you want out of your life. There is no “missed window of opportunity.” 

So…if I know it’s just an excuse, why do I STILL feel like I’m treading water? 

I have so many big ideas that I’m *trying* to figure out how to pull off–I know what I want to do. But I just feel…stagnant. Like I have so many things I want to accomplish but too many dumb little things on my to-do list that I’m not able to get to the most important things I actually want to work on! Then, I look up and it’s 10pm, and I’ve done not ONE thing that hits on ANY of my goals! Do you ever feel like that? 

For example: Here are some 2019 goals I’m working on right now: 

  • I’m TRYING to get to Orangetheory a minimum of three days a week. (And still do something active on my off-days.)
  • I’m TRYING to eat really clean and eat lot’s of green vegetables with every meal. 
  • I’m TRYING to grow my blog and build other income streams into my business. 
  • I’m TRYING to be more productive with the hours of my day so I don’t have to work around the clock. 
  • I’m TRYING to be better about making time for my friends on a regular, recurring basis, so we don’t have to text each other every two months and say, “Where have the weeks gone?!” 
  • I’m TRYING to be more cognizant of doing MORE things every day that bring joy to my life. 
  • I’m TRYING to be the kind of person who has a clean, organized home, every day. 
  • I’m TRYING to be more laser focused on living up to my full potential. I mean this in terms of what I want to accomplish in my career, what kind of wife, friend, daughter, mentor, etc I want to be, and how I’m going to accomplish that.  Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE my career and I love my life. But I’m not the most focused person in the world. I can be very scattered at times. And I really want to improve on this area this year, and keep the person I want to be front and center so I can be more cognizant of that with the choices I make each day. 

Yes.

I’m clear on the fact that I want all of these things for myself. I’ve written them down! (Look above! See? WRITTEN DOWN GOALS.)

So why don’t I feel this rush of excitement/anticipation/ready to take on the world feeling? I just feel like a little mouse trying to find my way to the cheese at the end of the maze but I keep taking the same wrong turns. 

Yesterday, there I was, sitting there thinking– “blah blah, Jess you’re so behind on 2019 get your life together–try a little harder.” 

Then I decided I would catch up on my new favorite podcast, Rise by Rachel Hollis–episode 80, to be specific. (She is unreal–if you ever need motivation for your life or career–REAL, raw advice– I would highly recommend listening to her!) She said something that literally smacked me upside the head. I paused it and actually hit REWIND so I could listen to it again, and scribble it down on my notepad. 

It’s this: 

Trying is failing.

Trying is hoping something will happen without actually assigning action to ensure that it does. Trying is never going to work, because trying does not involve a plan. In order to accomplish something you need to have a plan in place to get there

 

I need to stop TRYING and start PLANNING. 

So, with that lens–let’s try these goals again. Writing these in real time as we speak. Why not? 

Working out: 

Instead of:

I’m TRYING to get to Orangetheory a minimum of three days a week. (And still do something active on off-days.) 

Make it an action: 

Each week on Monday, sign up for 3 Orangetheory Classes that week and put them in the calendar. Each weekday morning, I will write down what I plan to do for my physical health that day and schedule it in my calendar. (If it’s an off-day, this might be a quick 7 minute workout break–a quick yoga flow in the morning–a walk around the neighborhood, etc.) 

Eating healthy:

Instead of:

I’m TRYING to eat clean and eat more green vegetables with every meal. 

Make it an action: 

Each Sunday, sit down and meal plan (for once in my life) make a grocery list, shop, and meal prep on Mondays. This is now scheduled in my calendar. 

Growing my career 

Instead of:

I’m TRYING to grow my blog and build other income streams into my business. 

Make it an action: 

Hold a planning session, get crystal clear on areas of focus for the year, and create workflows, to-do lists/timelines of action steps each week that ladder up to accomplishing larger goals. 

Productivity: 

Instead of:

I’m TRYING to make every minute of the workday count so I don’t have to work around the clock and can spend more time with friends, family, and hobbies. 

Make it an action:

I enrolled in Shunta Grant’s online course called the Spring Forward Workshop–where she teaches busy women “how to get on the other side of busy” (I found it through my friend Steph’s podcast–one of my favorites, called Courage and Clarity!) I’m really loving the course so far!

I’ve scheduled an hour each Sunday to plan the week, and schedule 30 minutes to plan my day each weekday morning to get super clear on my priorities for the day (including writing down what distractions I will AVOID–aka–turning my phone on airplane mode ?). I am also in the process of creating a workflow that assigns different days to different tasks, so different parts of my business are easier to batch and I can be as efficient as possible. 

Making time for girlfriends: 

Instead of:

I’m TRYING to be better about making time for my girlfriends on a regular basis so we don’t have to text each other every two months and say, “Where have the weeks gone?!” 

Make it an action:

Schedule recurring get togethers for different friends/friend groups each month (i.e. on the first Thursday of every month get together with X group of friends) so everyone can plan around them and you never accidentally go too long without a girls night! 

More everyday joy:

Instead of:

I’m TRYING to be more cognizant of doing MORE things every day that bring joy to my life for mental/emotional health. 

Make it an action: 

As part of my “planning session” each weekday morning I will write one “joyful” activity I will pencil in my schedule for my mental/emotional health. It might be going for a walk, catching a yoga class, getting spontaneous coffee with a friend, reading, going to a new restaurant for lunch, working in a new coffee shop (or going to my favorite coffee shop), taking 20 extra minutes to pop into my favorite bookstore on the way home. Whatever it is, every day, making a plan to squeeze in something that brings me joy. 

Tidying Up: 

Instead of:

I’m TRYING to be less messy, more organized, and have a neat and tidy home.

Make it an action:

Schedule 15 minutes per day to clean the house, no matter what. 

Getting focused: 

Instead of:

I’m TRYING to be more focused on living up to my full potential.

Make it an action:

I purchased High Performance Habits (per my girl Rachel Hollis’ recommendation) along with the High Performance Planner. I also took the High Performance Habits assessment (which I would HIGHLY recommend doing) that gave me a really good idea of where I need to be improving! 

In conclusion: 

WOW. GUYS. This works! I can’t tell you how much better I feel! 

No wonder I was feeling wishy washy. I had no clarity on how I was actually going to make my goals happen. And now I’ve put a very detailed action plan in place to get there! If you’re feeling overwhelmed with your resolutions, I highly recommend going through this exercise yourself!

What’s going to be top of mind for me moving forward:

Making sure I consistently stay on top of my planning to truly establish it as a habit instead of resorting to “trying” to get around to the things I want to accomplish. What do you think? Do you want to do this with me? 

In fact, I’d love to know a couple of your “Try’s” and how you’re converting them into actions in the comments below! ?

xoxo

Jess 

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