Is there anyone else out there who feels like THEY CAN’T ESCAPE THESE POOL FLOATS!? They’re literally everywhere–all over Instagram, Pinterest, and so on. Now all I want in life is a frosty mojito and a giant slice of pizza to lay on all afternoon, waiting for my skin to grow increasingly less pale.

But where do you buy something so over the top and absurd? (The answer: Mostly Amazon, and Urban Outfitters.) Here are my favorite floats, and where to buy ’em! (P.S. if you do buy them, can I come over to your pool?)

THE SWAN

The most majestic of all pool floats

THE WHOLE PIZZA 

In case a slice didn’t suit your fancy

JUST A SLICE OF PIZZA

Because you might not always need a whole one?

THE FLAMINGO 

Who doesn’t need more flamingos?

THE DONUT 

In case this post wasn’t enough for you.

THE PRETZEL 

Because real ones get soggy in the pool.

THE HOT DOG 

If you’ve ever wanted to whack someone with a giant bottle of mustard, now’s your chance.

THE WATERMELON

Because it’s just adorable.

THE LIME SLICE 

(The jig is up–this is totally the watermelon slice in green.)

THE ICE CREAM SANDWICH 

The only one that’s guaranteed to never melt!