(Photo from my Portugal trip–see Porto guide here!)
New year, new me!
I don’t know if it’s because we’re going into our second pandemic winter (which probably has a lot to do with it), the fact that I’m going into said second pandemic winter as a new mom trying to balance a career…and motherhood…and her marriage…and her friendships and family relationships on top of all of that. OR maybe it’s just the fact that I’m in my thirties and thankfully I have the glorious ability that only comes with age to really just care a LOT less about, well, everything–but for whatever the reason– the lofty New Years goals/grind/girl boss attitude/ work hard play hard mentality/ etcetera etcetera resolutions just aren’t doing it for me this year.
I honestly have nothing earth-shattering or even remotely interesting to say in this blog post–just the fact that I truthfully cannot begin to wrap my mind around even pretending to come up with big results-oriented goals that I care about. So if you feel that way too–you’re in good company, and that’s not a bad thing. In fact, I think it’s a blessing.
On Skipping The “Results Oriented” Resolutions This Year
One day soon I’m sure I’ll get a second wind and feel re-inspired, energized, and motivated–but right now? Honestly–I’m good to coast for a little while. After the past two years, I am SPENT. I am fried. Both personally and professionally. I am ready for some normalcy and stability. I have never felt less inspired to crush a business goal than I do right now.
For a while that was hard, because it’s a new feeling for me. Not to mention, people who strive for “just enough” or “more balance” aren’t glorified like the “girl bosses” or “high achievers” are. (I’m hoping we can change that very soon.) But know what? I’ve come around to a place where I’m perfectly okay with feeling this way.
In so many years past, I would’ve sat down and brainstormed all these goals for myself and my business. I always thought that I needed to keep growing and evolving every year because that’s just what you do. (Especially as someone who is self-employed, I feel like there can be a lot of pressure to constantly be growing as fast as possible. When you control how much you work and consequentially how much money you can make, it can be hard to pull back.)
There would be the inevitable revenue goal (could I grow my revenue by 30%? 50%?!) the inevitable fitness goals (wouldn’t it be great if I could work out 5 days a week!?)
But I don’t always NEED to make more money, even though I’m pretty sure that’s what every American is programmed to think.
Would it be nice? Of course! But also–more money doesn’t mean more happiness. In my job (and many jobs), more money typically equates with more time. At what cost? Time with my family? Missing moments with June? More stress? Less sleep? I spent the majority of my twenties trying to grow my business working 60-70 hours per week and running on fumes (and ramen noodles for many of those early years). Just because it’s what I used to do doesn’t mean it’s what I have to do right now.
I don’t NEED to change my body–it’s perfectly fine the way it is! It’s supposed to change, that doesn’t mean it’s bad!
I don’t NEED to sit and brainstorm achievements I should try to “go for” this year just because I can.
I know I’m not the only one who feels this way. I’ve had several conversations with different friends recently where the subject of promotions or new job opportunities have come up. In the past, it would’ve been a no-brainer to jump at them, no matter what–because that’s what you do when you’re young and hungry and scraping by while trying to climb the career ladder.
But more than one friend has confessed to me recently, “but I don’t actually WANT that job–I don’t want to manage people!” or “I don’t actually care! I would rather stay in my current role where I can clock in at 9 and sign off at 4!” despite the pay jump, or the big fancy title.
On one hand, I know this sentiment can feel uninspired.
Like a letdown to our high-reaching, tirelessly working younger selves. I feel that. But I am also really grateful to be able to be at the point in my life where I can see that being content with where I’m at right now, knowing that it’s “enough” and not *needing more* is the biggest career win in itself.
So this year instead of big goals, I’d like to spend more time in person with the people I care about (including you all! Hoping to start in-person meetups again when it’s safe to do so!) and less time stressed about little things that don’t contribute to happiness in the long run. I’d like to travel more–both with our family (I can’t wait to start showing June the world!), with just Neal and me, and also with friends. I think I do a pretty good job of being present with June now and I’d like to continue that as she quickly grows into a little person. I’m never going to get any of these moments back, and I want to soak up as many of them as I can.
These kinds of “goals” are so much more valuable to me, right now, than “Grow my revenue by X%” or “launch a new product” or any other lofty ones I’ve had in the past. Not that there’s anything wrong with those kinds of goals. They got me to this point and I’m sure I will have them again. For right now though, this feels good. ♥️
Whatever “goals” you have (or don’t have) this year–embrace them, and feel good about them! And if your only goal is to stay right where you are, I think that’s fantastic, and something to be celebrated.
Happy New Year!