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What Assumptions Do You Have About Me?

Apr 30, 2019

What Assumptions Do You Have About Me?

I’ve been seeing this “assumptions” game go around Instagram stories for awhile. If you aren’t familiar with it, it’s where different bloggers ask, “what are your assumptions about me?” on their stories and have their readers submit things they assume to be true about them.

At first it sounds like kind of a mean exercise, but I think it’s actually really cool because without a doubt, it always proves that the assumptions you have about people are usually incorrect! You can never know what someone has been through or what has made them who they are.

I was curious to see what you guys would say, so I followed suit. It resulted in a pretty cool conversation over on Instagram stories, so I wanted to post some of the most common ones here. 

Ready? Let’s go! (Were you surprised by any of these?) 

“That you’re like me and love to binge some Bravo reality TV” 

Hahaha I know I’m a basic B but I actually don’t like reality TV. DON’T HATE ME. Bravo shows give me anxiety. I am very anti-drama in real life (I purposely only surround myself with people with good juju because who has time for toxic drama queens in their life? NOT ME.) so that includes watching toxic drama queens I don’t know on TV ?I literally don’t know who any of the Real Housewives are. Oh! I know one is named Theresa? And was that Vanderpump lady a housewife? See. I don’t know these things. 

Okay ACTUALLY Very Cavallari is an exception– that definitely counts as reality TV. (Neal loves Jay. ?) But I do watch a lot of Food Network and HGTV so maybe that counts-ish? I can also get into the Bachelor when watching with girlfriends. But yeah long story short no Bravo. 

“That you’re laid back and not one to stress/freak out easily” 

TRUE. It takes a lot to get me stressed. Well, other than Bravo. 

Honestly, I’m a big picture person, so I often step back, assess the big picture, and realize I don’t need to stress over the little things. Either you can’t change them anyway or figure out that most things aren’t “big” in the grand scheme of things.

However, I’ve found that over-committing myself is one thing that always leads me to burn-out and stress, so I’m super super protective of my time and I say no to almost everything unless it’s I’m getting paid for it, or if you are one of my good friends or my family. ?I’m pretty ruthless about my priorities. 

“You’ve always been comfortable in your own skin” 

Not true! Middle school was pretty rough for me. I wasn’t “cool” and I took a long time to grow into my own skin. (I didn’t get my period until I was 15 or 16 so that’s automatic social suicide and I looked like a 12-year-old until after I could legally drive.) So that’s pretty hard on an adolescent girl’s confidence. At the beginning of college, my weight fluctuated a lot (so many lifestyle changes at once, not to mention horrific eating, drinking, sleeping, and exercise habits ????) and that was something I really struggled with because it was never something I’d experienced before. I don’t really know when I “grew into myself” so to speak. I feel like it just happened gradually. 

“You seem really down to earth and fun, like someone who makes the most out of anything.” 

That is the biggest compliment EVER. Thank you! I do try and make the most out of everything. My mom has always been a glass half full kind of person and she definitely instilled that in me. She taught me the power of positive thinking! And perspective. Always perspective. 

“You make a lot of money!” 

Haha! I guess it depends on what your definition of “a lot” is. We are comfortable and in a really good place and we’ve worked REALLY to get here over the last 5 years–but I wouldn’t ever say “we make a lot of money.” 

“That you’d never cut your hair short!” 

Never again. Been there done that. I also had chunky straight-across bangs when I was 25 and that was a travesty. 

“I assume your Meyer’s Brigs is ESFJ” 

I don’t remember what my Meyer’s Briggs is actually but I THINK it is ENFJ–so you were very close, but I’m definitely N over S. I think the S part generally means you’re detail oriented and I am the OPPOSITE of that. I’m a very big-picture person.  I am also a 7 on the Enneagram and a Yellow on the Color Code! 

“That you are rolling in $$ because you can buy so much! But I know it’s all part of your job!” 

Haha GUYS–remember, when I buy a piece of clothing and I link it on my blog–I get 10-15% on average of anything that you buy through my links. What I purchase has a POSITIVE ROI. This is why I can buy the things I do! **Please remember to not EVER compare what you have to a blogger on the internet. It’s part of how they make their living!**

“That if I came over you would have the best snacks and apps!!” 

You KNOW I love my snacks! Yes, I would like to think you would approve of my appetizer spread. 

“You’re competitive in a fun-spirited way.” 

Haha! I guess I’m competitive in some ways but not in others, and only at things I know I’m good at. (So basically zero team sports. I did not play any of those.) I would never try to beat you in flag football or a game of trivia. I’m mostly competitive with myself! Although, I have definitely become less competitive the older I get. 

“That you’re always put together! Even if your Hagrid blanket and pajamas!” 

Hahaha I’m not sure that’s true. But I do try and always be put together somewhat when I leave the house. It definitely stems from when I studied abroad in Italy and I walked around in sweats looking like I crawled out of a gutter and looked around and saw that no locals in Europe go out in public looking that way–only sloppy Americans. This made me change my ways. And you can never feel your best if you don’t put forth some effort! You can only make one first impression–and you never know who you’ll meet! 

“That you work out a lot because you’re so thin”

False. I am not a crazy worker-outer and never have been. (We’ll pretend that’s a phrase.) Realistically during a good week I work out three times. That’s a GOOD week. I’m currently in a “barely make it to the gym once a week” slump. I am not someone who “enjoys” working out or “needs to work out to stay sane.” 

This is never the answer anyone wants to hear, but a large part of my “size” is genetics. My mom is very petite and my dad has a tall and lean body type. I can’t take all the credit for it and saying I look a certain way because I work out like crazy and only eat salad would be a blatant lie.

A couple other things: Finding an effective workout I can stick to is also really important and Orangetheory has been very effective for me! (See my Orangetheory review here.) Granted, I’ve been too busy the past month to work out much. I need to get back in the saddle.

I also try to eat relatively healthy during the week and I don’t snack a lot by nature–I pretty much just eat one big meal a day and then smaller meals. I’m also not a grazer. (But I AM an absent minded coffee drinker. I drink way too much coffee.) but I also don’t deprive myself when I really want something. When I go out to eat I order the pizza and the french fries if I want, I just don’t eat too much of them. (What is life without french fries!?) 

My weight has definitely fluctuated in the past but when that happens it’s typically a bigger sign to me that I haven’t been prioritizing my health and that’s not when I feel my best mentally, emotionally or physically. It’s not a big deal, it’s just a sign that I need to focus on myself a little more. I don’t beat myself up or weigh myself (I don’t even own a scale) and I don’t think health should EVER be tied to a certain number on a scale or a specific jean size. Healthy looks different on everybody and that is something to be celebrated. I think whatever size you are when you feel the BEST and are putting yourself first is what size you should strive for–not the size that is the smallest or “target weight” that sounds good in your head! 

I say this because I think people look at a person with a certain body type and think that’s a “good” body type and by default, other body types that don’t look like that are “bad” or that if they “work out a lot” therefore they will be “thin” and that’s “good” and this is NOT a good way of thinking at all–not to mention completely untrue! 

That being said, there are seasons in my life where something’s gotta give–and sometimes that’s working out. If I have to choose between working so I can have a paycheck, spending time with my family and friends, and working out–you know what I’m going to pick. It’s okay–I don’t beat myself up over it. I think there is a lot of “never miss a Monday” guilt and pressure we put on ourselves to get in the gym X times per week, drink a green smoothie every morning, whatever–sometimes you just CAN’T. And thats okay too! It’s part of life!

My philosophy is always “do the best you can with where you are” and that’s good enough. 

“That you are always happy. That you work hard and strive to do your best and easily laugh at yourself.” 

I am definitely not ALWAYS happy. Like, last week, for example–everything annoyed me. I don’t know why. I get in a funk sometimes too, just like everyone else. But I am happy most of the time and very much a generally upbeat person. I do always strive to do my best and I think everyone should be able to laugh at themselves, too! Negative people are a HUGE pet peeve of mine–I avoid them like the plague. So much of being happy is keeping a positive attitude and being grateful for what you have, even when things aren’t going your way. 

“That you had a privileged/sheltered upbringing–I don’t mean it in a bad way!” 

No offense taken! I think it’s easy to look at a lot of bloggers and think they had some type of financial support, but that’s definitely not always true. (At least in my case!) 

I did have a very privileged upbringing. Growing up, my parents were well off, but they came from very humble beginnings. My mom’s parents owned a paint/hardware store and my Grandpa literally grew up IN the dust bowl. Not DURING. IN. THE DUST BOWL. Can you imagine?! Therefore he took nothing for granted and instilled that in my mom. When my parents first got married, they were both teachers in rural Oregon and quite literally had very few dollars to their name.

Then my dad eventually got into finance, worked very hard and became successful–but I was never spoiled, nor was I overly sheltered–I went to public high school and was friends with kids from all walks of life. 

My parents made sure I never wanted for anything major but I was never given whatever I wanted. I had an allowance on a “Visa Buxx” card, so I learned to manage my own money, and I had to get good grades and try hard in school to keep getting that allowance. I remember trying to convince my mom to buy me something expensive (who knows what it was) and I said “Why not!? It’s not like you don’t have the money!” To which she replied, “Because I love you too much.” 

Then, Senior year of college, long story short, the recession happened–and we all know how that worked out for a lot of people. My family was affected by that, and to put it plainly, we lost everything and a lot of other really bad stuff happened related to that. It was really hard on my family and in many ways, we’re still dealing with it. Thankfully, the timing worked out that I was graduating shortly afterward and got a job in Chicago. Every day I am SO grateful that all went down at the time that it did or my life could’ve gone much differently. 

Honestly, my parents were always very practical people and always pushed me to be independent, so I doubt they would’ve helped me much financially anyway after that, because doing so would’ve been a hindrance to my growth, but I’ve supported myself ever since I was 22, and that’s something I’m really proud of!

A lot of people assume I had financial help from my parents when I quit my corporate job, but I didn’t. I’m really thankful for the lessons that life has taught me up until this point, and I think it has really shaped who I am as a person today! It taught me that I will always be okay and that I will always be capable of standing on my own two feet! It also taught me that I can always count on myself when the going gets tough, and that having a lot of money isn’t everything. My dad says, “I’ve been rich and I’ve been poor, and I didn’t like either one of them” and I think about that constantly. 

“You had no student debt, and you had family help with the downpayment on your home.” 

I do not have student debt, something I am extremely grateful to my parents for. We did not have help with a downpayment on our home. Both Neal and I have been financially independent from our parents since we graduated from college. 

“You are creative but not so into crafts/ DIYs” 

HAHA. True. I have no patience for crafts. 

“You’re an extrovert/life of the party” 

Hmmm with certain people, yes. I definitely used to be more extroverted than I am now. Now I feel like I’ve become an introverted extrovert. I’d always choose staying in and reading a book over going out. But my favorite things are to have our best friends over to our house for a night in! I don’t think I’d describe myself as a “life of the party” but when my friends and I get together WE think we’re a good time. They can always count on me to do weird things to make them laugh. (Usually at me though, not with me. I’m not witty like that.) I do also love karaoke. 

“That you’re not in a big hurry to have babies. (Neither am I! It’s refreshing to see!)” 

So, like literally 87 of you said this one, so I take pride in the fact that hopefully I’ve made some people realize that it is 110% never your business to ask ANYONE “when are you having babies?” (So please, if you have, stop.) 

To answer the question, I definitely want kids, just not right this second. My mom says I will never feel “ready” and that I need to be pushed off the ledge and I’ll never look back. I’m sure she’s right–I’m not worried about being a good mother or loving my kids enough– I just WANT to be ready, and I’m just not there yet. When we do have kids, I want to be all-in for them, to enjoy every second and not feel like I’m mourning a life that I lost and wasn’t ready to give up yet.

I know too many people who have done that. I love our life right now–I still want to have my husband’s undivided attention, I want to be able to travel, to sleep in, and be spontaneous. Honestly, I really like that we can both say, “I’m tired” and I don’t feel the need to rip his head clean off his body, like all my other girlfriends with babies do. I think I’m beginning to beat a dead horse–you get it. 

“You have a sassy side” 

Definitely. I don’t take BS from anyone or put up with drama. And if you’re mean to my friends you’d better sleep with one eye open for the rest of your life. (But really.) 

“That you and Neal laugh a lot!” 

HAHA! So true. I often look at Neal and say, “were you this weird before you met me?” and he’s always like NOOOOO. We have a really good time together. 

“That you’ve worked very hard to get where you are and are therefore humble.” 

That is a huge compliment! Thank you! Yes, I have worked very, very hard to get to where I am! I’m glad that’s obvious and you guys don’t just think I sit around in pajamas all day doing nothing. (I mean, sometimes it could seem that way, haha!) 

“That you have to spend every waking minute on social, which seems exhausting.” 

I definitely don’t feel like I have to!  There are lots of days that I go without posting–those are just when I don’t feel like it. I don’t really feel like I HAVE to do anything. When I’m on Instagram, it’s because I want to be! When I’m not, it’s because I’m not feeling it. You guys are truly like my family. Yes, of course, there are the moronic trolls out there but they are relatively few and far between. My internet family is why I do what I do! When I’m offline too long–I miss you! My job can definitely get exhausting, but feeling like I have to be posting all the time is definitely not part of that. 

“That you’d be the most fun travel buddy ever!” 

Hahaha depends on who you ask. I am very much a fly by the seat of my pants traveler. It drives some people CRAZY that I refuse to commit to dinner reservations or that I don’t want to do the touristy stuff or I refuse to stand in a line. (I’m so impatient.) On the other hand, I like to think that my spontaneity makes me a fun person to travel with. 

“Probably one or both your parents went to college”

True! They met at college. But my mom dropped out for a while and moved home and worked the switchboard at Montgomery Wards. (So Mrs. Maisel.) But then my dad told her she had to finish her degree if she wanted to get married, so she went back. They were both education majors and became teachers in a teeny tiny town in rural Oregon. 

“You are a family gal! You seem super close to your mom and Neal’s fam” 

TRUE! I am so fortunate to have such amazing family on both sides! (Also I don’t know anyone else who lucked out in the in law department as much as me, truly.) 

“You are an only child” 

False! I have a sister, Alissa. She’s 10.5 years older and has five kids! (We’re full siblings–everyone always thinks we’re not because of the age gap.) I’ve been an aunt since I was 14! Shout out to Jacob, Matthew, Andrew, Ashlynn and Evan. None of them read my blog because the teenagers think blogs are for old people and the other two are too little to know what a blog is. ????

“You were popular in high school” 

Haha! I was lucky in that my high school had a lot of different groups of friends who were all friendly/nice to one another. There was no “popular” group. I had a lot of different friend groups, mostly because I was in choir, dance, and on the pom team. (That’s like a dance team but you wear cheerleading uniforms and carry pom poms, if you’re not familiar.)

I didn’t know anyone coming into freshman year to a public high school with 1,600 kids, and that was a really big period of growth for me as a person––it shaped so much of my life. I didn’t really make a lot of friends until about two years in. So, I guess the answer is no I did not start out with a lot of friends but I made them!

Middle school on the other hand was rough though. Def wasn’t popular in middle school. I HATED middle school. I was a late bloomer who still liked American Girls and felt thrown to the wolves with the “popular” girls who wore bras and liked boys. 

“You and Neal have a strong relationship/partnership” 

True! Our partnership is one of the things that I’m most proud of in life. The best piece of relationship advice I’ve ever heard is from Neal’s parents and that it’s to remember “you’re both on the same team” and we both take that to heart and take it very seriously. I am so fortunate to have such an incredible partner in life! 

WHEW. There are so many more but I think that’s enough for one post, haha! You know I’m always trying to make the internet a more transparent place, so I hope you enjoyed reading these and that you got to know me a little bit better. Do you have more questions? Feel free to leave them below! 

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