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Ask Jess–The Best T-Shirts, Other People’s Opinions, and more

Aug 5, 2019

Jess models this yellow, floral dress with a smile on her face

See full post with outfit details here! This dress is the best! 

Happy Monday, friends!

How was your weekend? We had a really relaxing one–it was probably the first one of the summer where we were home and had NO PLANS! It was amazing. As sad as I was for August to roll around (meaning summer is on its way out ?) I was really excited for the start of a new month, because July was absolute insanity. We have a slow August ahead of us so I’m looking forward to slowing down with work and taking time to really soak up the rest of the summer! 

Anyway, we’re back with another Ask Jess! Grab your second coffee (or maybe a glass of wine, depending on your time zone? ?) I’m answering a few more recent reader questions below! Let’s jump in! 

Best marriage advice you’ve ever received? 

I actually wrote a whole post on this! My favorite piece of advice I’ve ever heard is from Neal’s parents: “Always remember, you’re both on the same team.” Read more about that here

What’s your experience with Everlane tees

They’re my favorite tees ever!! Even better than Madewell and J.Crew. I did a whole post review comparing a bunch of different white t-shirts here and the Everlane ones won out hands down! They always come out with different colors and patterns every year too. I love their classic V-Neck, Box Cut Tee, and Cotton Crew.

(Also, make sure to read my Everlane Summer Vacation Capsule Wardrobe if you haven’t yet! One of the key pieces is a striped Everlane tee!) 

What’s your least favorite part about blogging? 

The best and worst parts of blogging are definitely the people. My amazing readers who feel like my family–they are the best. Blogging is also how I’ve met some of my very best friends who have completely changed my life. 

On the flip side–people who think it’s normal to go out of their way to send mean, snarky messages? Or even just unsolicited feedback I wasn’t asking for? They’re the worst part, for sure. Imagine having thousands of passive aggressive aunties that stick their nose in your business all the time. Sometimes that’s what it feels like. (I can only imagine how much worse it’s going to get when we have kids.)

But it just comes with the territory, and the good, wonderful people FAR AND AWAY outweigh the bad people. I still can’t believe I get to get up every day and do this–and that so many people actually care what I have to say. The weight of that is not lost on me and I do not take that for granted. 

At the end of the day, whatever you do for a living, no matter who you are–you have to develop a thick skin and know that anyone who says mean things doesn’t know you and therefore, their opinions really have no reflection on you as a person. It’s really no different for me than dealing with rude people in real life, it’s just amplified. ?

My two FAVORITE people who talk about dealing with other people’s opinions are Rachel Hollis and Brene Brown.

Rachel Hollis says, “Other people’s opinions are none of your business”–and it’s so true. (Listen to her podcast episode on this here!) and I love Brene Brown’s advice on knowing WHICH people’s opinions to take to heart (because let’s be honest, we all need constructive criticism!) and which to ignore.

Brene says, “If you are not in the arena, getting your ass kicked on occasion because you’re being brave, I’m not interested in or open to your feedback on my work.” She talks about “opinions from the cheap seats” and how they’re usually a reflection of people being too scared to show up in their own lives. (More on that in this article and excerpt from her TedTalk!) 

I know this wasn’t really a “blogging” related answer, but I think this is something we all deal with at one level or another, and I hope this helps you too if you ever find yourself in a similar situation! 

Any advice on managing your finances and budgeting? 

EVERYONE ON THIS PLANET needs to read Ramit Sethi’s “I Will Teach You To Be Rich” (actually, I prefer the audiobook, it’s much more engaging, but would recommend the book version too because there are certain things that are easier to do in book form.)

The title is a little misleading–it’s not a “how to get rich” book–but he basically just walks you through how to be an adult (how to automate savings, invest your money, how much to save, etc) and teaches you how to set systems in place so you can make more money and accumulate wealth over time without feeling like you’re “limiting” yourself. I wish every high school taught what he covers in this book! He is also really entertaining and enjoyable to listen to. He actually made me care about things like 401K, which I didn’t think was possible. 

Can you share your tips on spray tanning? Where do you go in Chicago/any good at home tanners? 

Yes! I highly recommend Penny Kraft + Co for Spray Tans! She’s affordable ($40 per spray), plus you can get $5 off when you mention my name at booking! It’s not a machine–she actually sprays you and does a FANTASTIC job. It’s the best fake tan I’ve ever gotten! For at home, I did a whole post on my fave clean self-tanning lotion here



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